My Home from Home

I had the good fortune to stay in Northumberland for a short break this year and the very first day I was greeted with the magnificent view of Bamburgh Castle rising out of the vista full of otherworldly glory!

Over the five days I visited beach after beach, clambered over sand dunes, picked up shells and sea glass along the tideline, peered into rock pools, bird watched and got to say hello to so many dogs. I visited Castles and other historic sites, including Lindisfarne, walking miles and miles. I was out in nature, in the fresh air, sometimes the rain, every single day and I felt alive and at peace, all at the same time.

I was born in a seaside town in Somerset and had a childhood filled with exploring the woods, the harbour and the beach, of being outside getting dirty, walking, swimming in the sea and laughing with friends – it felt pretty perfect. Then my parents divorced, subsequently remarried and relocated me further up country. Life was different and I didn’t like it at all. It planted this deep need for stability within me and a longing for home. When I was old enough I did indeed return to my place of birth, but it wasn’t the same and just didn’t feel like home anymore, and so that longing continued. Eventually I settled in a town in Dorset and stayed there for a number of years, but still it wasn’t home. I got married, bought a house, got divorced, lost my house – the carpet was pulled out from underneath me, but it gave me the chance to start again and to really think about what home meant to me and where that could be, but still I had no definitive answers and ended up drifting.

Fast forward a number of years and I have moved far too many times, I have settled down with someone again and bought a house in Gloucestershire. I was waiting for that feeling of finally arriving home, but it never happened and my mind began to wander once again, toying with the idea of returning to my childhood home – it’s familiar, I love the countryside and customs, I have friends and family there, yet it didn’t feel quite right and more like a backwards step.

Then I visited Northumberland and suddenly that feeling that I had been longing for hit me, it was so unfamiliar that it actually took me a few days to recognise it, but Northumberland felt like what I can only describe as my spiritual home. I loved going out without make-up on and not worrying about my appearance, living in walking boots, breathing sea air and feeling free! This was my home from home, and I have to be honest, I found coming back to Gloucestershire rather sad.

In those all too short five days, so much healing occurred and so much clarity was gained. It has made me seriously think about myself and my life and I now realise that home isn’t just a physical place, it’s also a state of mind, an emotion even, where you feel happy, settled and contented - sometimes that is found in unexpected places.

So if you’re feeling that longing for home, if you’re unsettled and perhaps feeling rather stagnant, don’t give up, start exploring your feelings, sit with yourself for a little while, in the quiet, and wait for that small voice inside to help guide you forwards and hopefully towards your spiritual home.